Monkeys
fool me once: shame on me.
Monkeys
fool me twice: shame on me.
Monkeys
fool me three times: THIS. MEANS. WAR.
Recently
I have been staying at a laid-back, relaxing hostel on the eastern coast of
South Africa. Most days I like to wake up early, leave my suite and make my way
down to the outdoor common area. This open-aired common area consists of
several picnic tables over-headed by thatch roofing while strategically placed
next to an in-ground pool. This is where I study most days with the occasional wade-in-the-pool
study break.
As
I have been living here for almost two weeks, I’d like to trust my expert
opinion and believe that most days are quite relaxing unless you receive the
panicked alert, “Quick, there are monkeys in your room!” Upon my arrival days
prior, I was warned to keep the windows closed throughout the day because the
monkeys will enter vacant rooms, steal food, maybe rummage through cabinets and
refrigerators and leave messily. At first I stuck to the ‘closed window rule’
quite strictly. Although as the summer season emerged and the temperature
continued to climb, my roommates and I felt that a cracked window was needed in
order to calm the humidity within our flat. Of course we began to grow too
comfortably with our windows open, as monkeys were never present. Life seemed
to be going well for my roommates and I, soaking up the sun, studying by the poolside,
and most of all, our flat had a refreshing wind gust swirling between rooms. We
were living a monkey free lifestyle.
Monkeys fool me once:
shame on me.
Ellie
Leaning and I are sitting by the poolside, studying as usual. I have finally found
the seldom-occurring mood where I feel the passion and drive to study forever.
As I am reading an article a man comes rushing over to Ellie and I, “Quick,
there are monkeys in your room!”. Of course I laugh, Monkey’s in my room bahaha, wow I can’t wait to tell this one at home
and Ellie’s face reads the expression, No!
Disaster! With her worried look, Ellie rushes off to unlock the flat and
salvage our belongings. I find the occurrence hilarious and as a result, remain
at the outdoor picnic table and continue with my work. Ellie may be little with
her short stature, but she sure is feisty and I know that she’ll give those
monkeys a stern talking to. However after a few moments of Ellie’s absence, a
monkey comes frolicking across several roof tops, making its way towards my
direction. He captures my attention and I think, I’m sure this is the one that entered my flat. But I can’t be mad, his small
size makes me assume that he’s delicate and therefore, adorable. However as
this monkey jumps from roof to roof, it seems as if he purposely meant to catch
my eye. I feel this way because as he jumps across the rooftops he halts
parallel to my location and stares at me from above. The worst part: He slowly
raises his arm with a nectarine in hand, opens his mouth and takes a snail-paced
bite without glancing from my direction. How
rude! Of all the people outdoors, he locks eye contact with me; He knew that was MY nectarine. After
mocking me, he scurries off leaving me taken aback. Upon Ellie’s return she
informs me that this monkey has committed robbery as he has stolen a whole box
of nectarines, a bundle of bananas, a few avocados and a toothbrush! What does a monkey need with a toothbrush?!
After
this incident, Ellie and I report the event to our other roommates where we
laugh and overlook our stolen goods. We decide to lock our windows while away
and forget about the scenario later that night.
Monkeys fool me twice:
shame on me.
Later
that evening, the summer’s humidity is outstanding and my roommates and I can’t
help but open a window. Monkeys rarely enter an occupied setting so we believed
that we would be okay leaving the bathroom window ajar. Slowly we fall asleep
as our bodies fight the uncomfortable, stuffy, and sweaty humid atmosphere.
 |
| The Portal of Entry: the bathroom window |
It’s
6:20am. I wake to screaming. Get out of
here! Aghhhh, leave! Leave! Leave! I can hear Eliie screaming, at what? I
have no idea. Upon waking, I rush out of our bedroom to Ellie’s location, the
living room. She screams, The monkey is
back! Now I’m worried because she is currently standing in the living room
pointing in the direction of the hallway that leads to the bathroom and the
kitchen. For a moment I feel brave walking down this hallway until I reach the
bathroom door. Then I think, What am I
doing? I am going to position myself to walk through this door into the
bathroom. If the monkey is in here, what am I going to do, fight it? It will
kick my ass. However Ellie is panicking and tells me, I just saw it leave
the kitchen and walk into the bathroom. Oh
great, thanks El, the bathroom appears so inviting now.
I
finally gain the courage to walk into the bathroom and I quickly think, Yes, no monkey is visible. I experience
a deep sigh of relief and part of my adrenaline washes away as my body calms. I
see that the bathroom window is partially open and I take a step forward in
order to close the window. I can hear Ellie creeping behind me as a monkey’s
shadow is cast into the bathroom from the outside. Both her and I scream as he
wraps half of his body inside the bathroom window. Gahhhh!!!! I begin to think, You
devilish monkey, Ellie and I are screaming with fright and you are not moving!
Why aren’t you leaving us alone, you devil monkey you?! But I can’t utter
words, I can only scream. As a result I feel as if Ellie and I are vulnerably
screaming at this monkey, who is literally an arm’s lengths away, and I am
hoping that these screams alone will make him go away. Of course he just
snickers and stares at us. What kind of
animal are you? As more thoughts pass through my mind, I come to the
realization that screaming doesn’t help. Thankfully a towel is hanging near by,
as Ellie stands behind me, I quickly grab the towel swirl it in my hands, wind
back and snap the towel at this stubborn monkey. He still doesn’t move. Dramatic fail. Now my thoughts are
becoming vulgar, What the hell? Who sent
you devil monkey?!
 |
| The Evidence: banana peels. Our flat window is on the right, adjacent to the red flowered tree. |
Finally
after three to four attempts of winding back and snapping my towel at this
monster of a creature, the monkey leaves the window. I quickly jolt forward,
close and clasp the window shut. As I turn around Ellie and I’s eyes read the
same expression, Let’s find a window and
see where this bugger went! First, are all windows shut? Without speaking
we check all windows and glue our bodies to the glass windows that view the landscape
below. We see one monkey in a tree. Okay,
so we know there has only been one monkey. Thank goodness. But wait! I see
a baby monkey on the far left side, hanging on the staircase. Okay only two monkeys, and one is a baby.
What? Three, no four… five monkeys!
As we watch a few monkeys playing frantically on the staircase outdoors, I can
see them tearing at our large bundle of bananas. How rude? We just replaced those yesterday after YOU stole them from us
to begin with! Grrrr. Of course Ellie and I grow angry and start shouting
at the monkeys from our viewpoint inside. Go
away! Leave us alone! Shoo! Shoo!
And
what does one monkey in particular do? Well, from what I though was an innocent
baby monkey, this baby pounces his way back up in our direction, not only
scaring Ellie and I, but mocking us. Im
so mad at you monkey, but I’m scared at you at the same time. You baby devil
you! Finally all the monkeys scuttle away leaving us alone.
Monkeys fool me three
times: THIS. MEANS. WAR.
Attention
all monkeys: Although you have yet to commit an additional felony, my roommates
and I are watching you. You will not steal another banana, toothbrush or
facewash from us again! If you even attempt to steal or mock us, we will no
longer stand in fear and scream at the top of our lungs. You have brought this
to an all-new level, take note and fear the consequences you dirty little
buggers!
 |
| The Aftermath: banana peels and face wash that had fallen from our flat window above. |
